NursingZen

As it turns out, at the end of Week 3 everyone I talked to in the program was in the same boat: Partners felt neglected, couples argued, time seemed to slip away, tensions mounted. I think it’s funny that we all hit the wall–and were scaling it–at the same time.

Unfortunately, some people hit the wall harder than others: They wonder whether they’ll make it another day, whether nursing is for them, whether another program would’ve been better organized, and whether all accelerated programs are as crazy and intense as UCSF’s.

I feel for them. We all worked hard to get to this stage and it can be soul-wrenching to feel like the program may not be what it was cracked up to be, or that nursing may not be what one hoped for or expected. But I hope they don’t leave. We’re just getting started; former MEPNs have said that the first quarter is the toughest because we’re all getting adjusted.

Meanwhile, to my surprise, the anxiety and fear I felt leading up to and during the first two weeks of school have melted away!

Something clicked for me during my second week of clinicals: I like nursing. I really like it.

I like the fast pace, the constant, never-ending learning, the gross stuff, the sad stuff, the teamwork, the blend of social work, science, medicine, sociology, anthropology and psychology…It’s an amazing thing. There’s no field like this. (Yes, tag me “Idealistic” right now.)

And I can just go on and on about my admiration and respect for the nurses I’ve met and seen in action. They make me want to become an excellent nurse–no less.

I’m also relieved to have something to focus on, to be back in school, to have readings, tests and discussions that are applicable to real life, to meet new people. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else right now but be in this program.

Wow, these feelings blow me away. Is it really me who’s talking?